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	<title>ABC Art Gallery</title>
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	<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com</link>
	<description>The interactive virtual 3D oil paintings gallery</description>
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		<title>Visualization of art museums for art fakes</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7725</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7725#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2011 14:33:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ABC Gallery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art museums]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/artmuseumoffakes.jpg" rel="shadowbox[sbpost-7725];player=img;"><img src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/artmuseumoffakes.jpg" alt="" title="Art Museums specialized in art fakes around the world" width="1013" height="595" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7726" /></a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>3D oilpainting galleries on Facebook</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7720</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7720#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:08:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7720</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We are happy to announce that our 3D panoramic oil paintings galleries are now also available on Facebook. You find our 3D oilpainting application if you click this link. We hope you like it.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We are happy to announce that our 3D panoramic oil paintings galleries are now also available on Facebook. You find our <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/ABC-Art-Gallery/206072009463597?sk=app_304165429599845" title="Oilpainting application on Facebook" target="_blank">3D oilpainting application if you click this link</a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.abcartgallery.com/?page_id=4"><img src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/gallerywithmonalisa.jpg" alt="" title="Oil painting galleries guided by Mona Lisa" width="909" height="624" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7668" /></a></p>
<p>We hope you like it. </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>ABC Art Gallery delivering oil paintings now to 26 European countries</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7712</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7712#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:31:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canvas painting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oilpainting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7712</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We are proud to announce that we have added a German and French language version of our oilpainting shop which you find in the Oil Paintings Art Shop pull down menu. We also now serving 26 European countries within the Amazon fullfilment network. Delivery can be made to the following countries: Germany France Spain Italy Belgium Luxembourg Netherlands the Republic of Ireland Portugal Austria Bulgaria Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Estonia Finland Greece Hungary Latvia Lithuania Malta Poland Romania Slovakia Slovenia Sweden]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We are proud to announce that we have added a German and French language version of our oilpainting shop which you find in the Oil Paintings Art Shop pull down menu. We also now serving 26 European countries within the Amazon fullfilment network. Delivery can be made to the following countries:</p>
<ul>
<li>Germany</li>
<li>France</li>
<li>Spain</li>
<li>Italy</li>
<li>Belgium</li>
<li>Luxembourg</li>
<li>Netherlands</li>
<li>the Republic of Ireland</li>
<li>Portugal</li>
<li>Austria</li>
<li>Bulgaria</li>
<li>Cyprus</li>
<li>Czech Republic</li>
<li>Denmark</li>
<li>Estonia</li>
<li>Finland</li>
<li>Greece</li>
<li>Hungary</li>
<li>Latvia</li>
<li>Lithuania</li>
<li>Malta</li>
<li>Poland</li>
<li>Romania</li>
<li>Slovakia</li>
<li>Slovenia</li>
<li>Sweden</li>
</ul>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The history of oil paintings</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7690</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7690#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:12:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canvas paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil painting galleries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oilpainting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7690</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The oldest known extant oil paintings date from 650 anno domini, found in 2008 in caves in Afghanistan&#8217;s Bamiyan Valley.  using walnut and poppy seed oils. Early oil painting works were panel paintings on wood. Canvas became more popular at the end of th 15th century. Before the invention of photography, people commonly hired painters and engravers to &#8220;re-create&#8221; an event or a scene. Artists had to imagine what to illustrate based on the information available to them about the subject. Some artists added elements to make the scene more exotic, while others removed elements out of modesty.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The oldest known extant oil paintings date from 650 anno domini, found in 2008 in caves in Afghanistan&#8217;s Bamiyan Valley.  using walnut and poppy seed oils. Early oil painting works were panel paintings on wood. Canvas became more popular at the end of th 15th century. Before the invention of photography, people commonly hired painters and engravers to &#8220;re-create&#8221; an event or a scene. Artists had to imagine what to illustrate based on the information available to them about the subject. Some artists added elements to make the scene more exotic, while others removed elements out of modesty.</p>
<div id="attachment_7691" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 610px"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005HCXL16/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=abga06-21&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1634&amp;creative=6738&amp;creativeASIN=B005HCXL16&quot;>Hand signed oil painting Deux enquêtes on quality canvas 20X24&quot;/50x60cm of ABC Art School</a><img src=&quot;http://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=abga06-21&amp;l=as2&amp;o=2&amp;a=B005HCXL16"><img class="size-full wp-image-7691 " title="Oilpainting on canvas" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/27.jpg" alt="Oilpainting on canvas" width="600" height="720" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Oilpainting on canvas - click for more information</p></div>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Gustav Klimt &#8211; Your innovative gift on Kickstarter.com</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7680</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7680#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 11:53:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Famous artists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canvas paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gustav Klimt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Klimt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil painting galleries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oilpainting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7680</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We successfully launched our first Kickstarter project in the US. Its all about Gustav Klimt, the famous Austrian symbolist painter. The main idea about the project is combining Gustav Klimt season greetings together with an interactive 3D walk-through museum. Every card includes an access code to the 150th Gustav Klimt anniversary online museum where Gustav Klimt will be your tour guide. Please read more about our innovative project here.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We successfully launched our first Kickstarter project in the US. Its all about Gustav Klimt, the famous Austrian symbolist painter.<br />
The main idea about the project is combining Gustav Klimt season greetings together with an interactive 3D walk-through museum.<br />
<a href="http://www.abcartgallery.com/gustav-klimt-museum"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7681" title="Gustav Klimt season greeting cards" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/xmascards.jpg" alt="Gustav Klimt season greeting cards" width="800" height="300" /></a>Every card includes an access code to the 150th Gustav Klimt anniversary online museum where Gustav Klimt will be your tour guide. <a title="Gustav Klimt museum of oilpaintings" href="Gustav Klimt season greeting cards">Please read more about our innovative project here.</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>New oilpainting collection</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7676</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7676#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 11:44:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canvas paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil painting galleries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oilpainting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7676</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our new collection of oil paintings is now online in our 3D oil paintings gallery. Mona Lisa is guiding you through the oil painting galleries and tells you facts and tips about art oil paintings, their history and information about the process and techniques of canvas paintings. Click here to enter our 3D oil painting gallery. &#160;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Our new collection of oil paintings is now online in our 3D oil paintings gallery. Mona Lisa is guiding you through the oil painting galleries and tells you facts and tips about art oil paintings, their history and information about the process and techniques of canvas paintings. <a title="Oilpainting gallery" href="http://www.abcartgallery.com/?page_id=4">Click here to enter our 3D oil painting gallery</a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.abcartgallery.com/?page_id=4"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7668" title="Oil painting galleries guided by Mona Lisa" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/gallerywithmonalisa.jpg" alt="" width="909" height="624" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>“A picture is worth a thousand words”</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7651</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7651#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Oct 2011 12:01:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canvas paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil painting galleries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil paintings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oilpainting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/?p=7651</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is believed that the modern use of the phrase stems from an article by Fred R. Barnard in the advertising trade journal Printers&#8217; Ink, promoting the use of images in advertisements that appeared on the sides of streetcars. Especially with paintings in your rooms you can express feelings, tell stories or create a certain atmosphere. Before you start your own painting collection try to find a theme you are interested and start making notes. What do you want to tell the viewer of your collection? Is there a central theme you want to group your paintings around or shall it be controversial viewpoints? What atmosphere do you want to create? There are basically endless possibilities of telling your own stories with oil paintings. To tell your own story or express your theme to the viewer, paintings do not necessarily come from the same author. You are the creator of your collection story, so it´s totally up to you what you want to put together. “Different places in the world”  The city symbols for us the daily stressfull life in contrast to the boats at the sea. But today its very hard to escape daily communications with eMail, text messages [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is believed that the modern use of the phrase stems from an article by Fred R. Barnard in the advertising trade journal Printers&#8217; Ink, promoting the use of images in advertisements that appeared on the sides of streetcars. Especially with paintings in your rooms you can express feelings, tell stories or create a certain atmosphere.</p>
<p>Before you start your own painting collection try to find a theme you are interested and start making notes. What do you want to tell the viewer of your collection? Is there a central theme you want to group your paintings around or shall it be controversial viewpoints? What atmosphere do you want to create? There are basically endless possibilities of telling your own stories with oil paintings.</p>
<p>To tell your own story or express your theme to the viewer, paintings do not necessarily come from the same author. You are the creator of your collection story, so it´s totally up to you what you want to put together.</p>
<p><strong>“Different places in the world”</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005HCY3CC/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=abga06-21&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1634&amp;creative=6738&amp;creativeASIN=B005HCY3CC"><img class="size-full wp-image-7652 aligncenter" title="City" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/city.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005HCXJGS/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=abga06-21&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1634&amp;creative=6738&amp;creativeASIN=B005HCXJGS"><img class="size-full wp-image-7653 aligncenter" title="Connectivity" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/connectivity.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005HCY12O/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=abga06-21&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1634&amp;creative=6738&amp;creativeASIN=B005HCY12O"><img class="size-full wp-image-7654 aligncenter" title="boat" src="http://www.abcartgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/boat.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" /></a></p>
<p> The city symbols for us the daily stressfull life in contrast to the boats at the sea. But today its very hard to escape daily communications with eMail, text messages and mobile phone which is symbolised by the wire abstract painting.</p>
<p>Try experimenting yourself and create your own story and of course we would love to see one of our oil paintings in your story and collection.</p>
<p>Have a great day!</p>
<p>Bobo</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Infomania: Alan Partridge</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7644</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7644#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Oct 2011 06:31:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Art News Journal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7644</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Fact-checking the famous Article source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/graphic/2011/oct/08/infomania-alan-partridge]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="stand-first-alone">Fact-checking the famous</p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/graphic/2011/oct/08/infomania-alan-partridge">http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/graphic/2011/oct/08/infomania-alan-partridge</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Sharon Gless: My family values</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7643</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7643#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Oct 2011 06:31:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Art News Journal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7643</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Gless family have been in Los Angeles for generations and no one ever left. We have five streets named after us. When my husband, Barney, retired, we moved to Miami, but I still have a house in Los Angeles. I would never give up my roots there. My grandfather was Neil S McCarthy, a well-known entertainment lawyer in the golden days of Hollywood. When I was about 18, I told him I wanted to be an actor. He said: &#8220;Stay out of it, it&#8217;s a filthy business!&#8221; I didn&#8217;t have the nerve to say: &#8220;But that&#8217;s how you made your money!&#8221; Later, he mellowed, and when I was 26 he gave me $150 for my first acting classes. I worked as a secretary during the day and went to class at night. I am surrounded by family. I have two brothers, two sisters-in-law, stepdaughters and stepgranddaughters and nieces and nephews and 18 cousins. I was raised Catholic, so they just kept coming! My brothers are wonderful brothers – we adore each other. The older one, Michael, is an attorney, and Aric, who is seven years younger than I am, is an architect. They are both very respectable and very conservative [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>The Gless <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/family" title="More from guardian.co.uk on Family">family</a> have been in Los Angeles</strong> for generations and no one ever left. We have five streets named after us. When my husband, Barney, retired, we moved to Miami, but I still have a house in Los Angeles. I would never give up my roots there.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>My grandfather was Neil S McCarthy</strong>, a well-known entertainment lawyer in the golden days of Hollywood. When I was about 18, I told him I wanted to be an actor. He said: &#8220;Stay out of it, it&#8217;s a filthy business!&#8221; I didn&#8217;t have the nerve to say: &#8220;But that&#8217;s how you made your money!&#8221; Later, he mellowed, and when I was 26 he gave me $150 for my first acting classes. I worked as a secretary during the day and went to class at night.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>I am surrounded by family.</strong> I have two brothers, two sisters-in-law, stepdaughters and stepgranddaughters and nieces and nephews and 18 cousins. I was raised Catholic, so they just kept coming! My brothers are wonderful brothers – we adore each other. The older one, Michael, is an attorney, and Aric, who is seven years younger than I am, is an architect. They are both very respectable and very conservative – as opposed to their sister.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>I am particularly close to Michael</strong>, as we were closer in age. When he got married, in his 20s, I was bereft and so worried that I would not see him again that I spent most of the wedding sobbing, which didn&#8217;t go down well with my new and wonderful sister-in-law.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>I was a war baby</strong>, and my mother, Marjorie, stayed home to look after us all. She was a really wonderful mother and very hands-on. She used to say, when she was reprimanding us: &#8220;One day you will thank me.&#8221; And it&#8217;s true. My father, Dennis, was a sportswear manufacturing executive. I adored him. But to be honest, he wasn&#8217;t the greatest father. He wasn&#8217;t around much and would sweep in and out of my life.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>My parents divorced when I was in my teens.</strong> It was very painful and I didn&#8217;t get to see my father very much. As I became older, we grew close. He didn&#8217;t live long enough to see me married. Michael walked me down the aisle.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>When my parents divorced, </strong>my maternal grandmother stepped in. She scared me to death, but I loved her. She had 17 grandchildren and I was the one she decided to take under her wing. When I was a teenager, I used to dream about having the perfect marriage and the perfect children, and impressing my grandmother. But it didn&#8217;t work out like that. Looking back, I could not have had the career I&#8217;ve enjoyed and also been a good mother. I wasn&#8217;t grown-up enough myself.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>When I was 48, I married Barney Rosenzweig,</strong> the man who created Cagney  Lacey. My family adored him. I think my mother was just so excited that I had got married at all. Barney has three daughters and now we have three granddaughters. It&#8217;s wonderful having stepchildren. I didn&#8217;t have to raise them, but I get to reap all the benefits of enjoying them. Watching them bring up their own children, I am full of such admiration. I think motherhood is the most important and difficult job in the world.</p>
<p />
<p><strong>My family are my best friends.</strong> In this industry when you work with people, you swear you will never part. But you do. The exception is my Cagney  Lacey co-star, Tyne Daly. Her mother, Hope, used to say that &#8220;sweat makes a great cement&#8221; and working with Tyne for six years has cemented us together for ever.</p>
<p />
<p><em>Sharon Gless is appearing in </em><a href="https://www.riversidestudios.co.uk/online/performances.php?cmd=listPerformanceseventId=1111:1759l=1308749590" title=""><em>A Round-Heeled Woman at Riverside Studios</em></a><em>, London, 18 October to 20 November</em></p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/oct/08/sharon-gless-my-family-values">http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/oct/08/sharon-gless-my-family-values</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Downton Abbey: Grace Dent&#8217;s TV OD</title>
		<link>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7642</link>
		<comments>http://www.abcartgallery.com/archives/7642#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Oct 2011 06:31:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ABC Art Gallery</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art News & Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Art News Journal]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[All wars have casualties, and it&#8217;s safe to say that, plotwise, the first world war has taken a terrible toll on Downton Abbey (Sun, 9pm, ITV1). Plots: the place is swimming in them. Plots everywhere. I can&#8217;t breathe for them. Oh how I long for sleepy prewar Downton, where footage of a rotund-bottomed labrador dawdling across a lawn spliced with the Earl taking exception to Mrs Patmore&#8217;s heavy handed game consommé seasoning and a few one-liners from Maggie Smith gurning beneath a pile of ostrich feathers felt like a well-stuffed ITV1 hour. Not now the war has come, oh no. &#8220;I&#8217;ve been reading a book on political ideologies, Lady Sybil!&#8221; blurts Tom the chauffeur during a typical two-minute scene. &#8220;I am against this awful war and am plotting a protest against it&#8221; says Lady Sybil (dressed as a nurse). &#8220;Drive me to the hospital, it&#8217;s important for me to make some beds and prove I have the common touch and am not a run-of-the mill posho!&#8221; Tom (clanking theme change): &#8220;Of course Sybil, and by the way, I&#8217;m in love with you.&#8221; Enter stage left, Lady Mary (and her haunted vagina): &#8220;Sybil why are you fraternising with a lowly chauffeur? [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>All wars have casualties, and it&#8217;s safe to say that, plotwise, the first world war has taken a terrible toll on <strong><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/downton-abbey" title="More from guardian.co.uk on Downton Abbey">Downton Abbey</a> </strong>(<em>Sun, 9pm, ITV1</em>). Plots: the place is swimming in them. Plots everywhere. I can&#8217;t breathe for them. Oh how I long for sleepy prewar Downton, where footage of a rotund-bottomed labrador dawdling across a lawn spliced with the Earl taking exception to Mrs Patmore&#8217;s heavy handed game consommé seasoning and a few  one-liners from Maggie Smith gurning beneath a pile of ostrich feathers felt like a well-stuffed ITV1 hour. Not now the war has come, oh no.</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve been reading a book on political ideologies, Lady Sybil!&#8221; blurts Tom the chauffeur during a typical two-minute scene. &#8220;I am against this awful war and am plotting a protest against it&#8221; says Lady Sybil (dressed as a nurse). &#8220;Drive me to the hospital, it&#8217;s important for me to make some beds and prove I have the common touch and am not a run-of-the mill posho!&#8221; Tom (clanking theme change): &#8220;Of course Sybil, and by the way, I&#8217;m in love with you.&#8221; Enter stage left, Lady Mary (and her haunted vagina): &#8220;Sybil why are you fraternising with a lowly chauffeur? This is not the done thing, we must not be true to our feelings under any circumstances. It&#8217;s only 1914!&#8221; Sybil: (lips very tight) &#8220;Well Mary, maybe if <em>you</em> were more true to your feelings, you&#8217;d inform cousin Matthew you liked him and the enigma of the entire Crawley legacy would be solved!&#8221; (Coach pulls on to Downton driveway carrying 70 bandaged men. Lady Mary looks at her clipboard.) &#8220;Sybil! I am not in a place to discuss Matthew. We&#8217;re turning Downton into a convalescent home in 20 minutes and I&#8217;m required to stage a music hall gala this evening. Father thinks what these men with missing arms and legs need is me honking through Burlington Bertie!&#8221; Cue dramatic Downton music and the ensuing ad break featuring Jarvis Cocker and Michel Gondry on the Eurostar.</p>
<p>I am exhausted. And this is before coping with Lady Edith&#8217;s quickfire tryst with the farmer (plotline seemingly harvested midway and never mentioned again), Mr Bates and his Scooby-Doo villain wife, Mrs Crawley going awol to Europe and the Earl of Grantham&#8217;s rampant haemorrhoids. Yes, OK, Julian Fellowes has never made it overtly clear that the Earl is in the grip of pile misery, but this might explain why he&#8217;s spent five episodes bloody livid about nothing. &#8220;I need to go to war. I need to do my bit!&#8221; he screams. Ten minutes pass. &#8220;Unless I get my own way all the time, Downton can&#8217;t be a convalescent home!&#8221; he screams throwing his toy soldiers from the pram. And in all honestly, despite loving Downton, I have long since lost even fleeting interest in Matthew and Mary pretending not to fancy each other. People, there&#8217;s a war on, get a grip. Any woman who can drive a man they&#8217;re in love with to the railway station en route to the frontline, give him a lucky teddy bear, and then turn on her heel aloofly and stomp off before a kiss thinking, &#8220;Hee hee! In your face, knobhead. Another point to me in the battle of who cares less!&#8221; actually deserves to die alone in the west wing, to be found by maids spring-cleaning three weeks later, half-chewed by corgis. War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.</p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/oct/08/downton-abbey-grace-dent">http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/oct/08/downton-abbey-grace-dent</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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